It is definitely not a good day for a hat.
A cold and windy London can easily blow your hat of few hundred feet from you in three seconds. So one of your hand have to be constantly on you head, wearing on the hat just to make sure it will stay there. And you keep on walking. And walking.
Windy London seems to be normal for the city: dark cold and partly wet. Sprinkles of rain from time to time during the day. The city was much different from last time I’m here in the sunny sky.
I am standing now in Borough Market on Sunday morning, trying to get a cup of my favourite Monmouth coffee. Bad idea. Everything is closed on Sunday morning in Borough Market. I mean everything. With my desperate need for a morning coffee, I ended up with a simple local coffee shop somewhere in the corner of the street. It was a quick fix.
A wind blow with a thought of a friend of mine in London.
And I send her some text as an obligation of a friend visit, keeping my finger cross she might not get mad at me or anything as such. She send it back to say hi. Good. So we are now obviously still a good friend. I’m glad. I don’t normally prefer to hate and be hated. I felt so much relief. In my mind I thought of good things we did, great time we had and wish she would share it further with her husband.
My head is so clear now under the cloudy and windy sky.
I found myself later in my ritual Camden Town for few vinyl shop that regularly visit. I know that it had become so uncool to be in Camden these days. But I have been returning for the last ten years. As I said, it has already became more than a habit. It became a ritual.
It look like a same old Sunday it has always been here in Camden market for the last ten years. New construction has finished at the end of this Stable Market in the end but mostly the market still look and feel the same. A good design indeed. Not many times I see an architect’s work that increase the property value whilst still keeping it’s integrity. I wish all can work there way like that.
I’m standing in one of the very tiny vinyl shop in the middle part of the market. I always have a feeling every time I visited the shop that the guy who runs it is a bit rough. He is like mid 50 with white hair. He never speaks to any of client for than it would be necessary. Not even smile or trying to provide extensive recommendation to any of the records. He always acts cool.
And today is the first time I manage to buy something from his shop. After my digging, I found the rare 80’s -90’s pop album form PH.D. ‘Isn’t It Safe?’. I have always been looking for ‘Try Biology’ album from Billy field but at least this one is close enough. It could be the same year in popularity, I think. So I handed to you with 3 pound coin in my hand. And he gave me back more than a service record sale. Something I never expected from this ever rock cast steel cold face.
He gave me the kindest smile.
It could be that when you are in love, the world always smile at you, even if it were from the coldest man alive. Someone even say it would be branded in your face as something like ‘Look at me I’m in love’ kind of message. I have never feel that treat until now. Or I might have never been in love at all. Or you simply have to be in love with the right one to make it work. Or it is just simply because you did smile first and it still stay at corner of your eyes.
Also when you are in love, you are not very much quite lonely. You may be afar from your love one, but once your soul is completed, your heart will work the missing part in a different way. You don’t feel the loneliness pierce into you and make you cry. You always feel her love around you and every time you think of her, you will wear a small secrecy smile in the corner of your eyes. And perhaps laughing to your self like a nutty.
It is still a windy street of London and I still have my hand on my hat to prevent it from being blown away. But I do walk the street with the warmth inside. I know I’m not really walking this street further alone. And it will be like that at least for a long while more than I could possibly remember. And I will keep on walking, with my hat on and a hand on my hat. And the road will still be dark and windy.
And all of sudden, a glimpse of sun sneaking through those dark clouds.
…
‘I don’t need a manual. We do improvisation. It is a jazz music and not classical. I believe in persistence disequilibrium. Machine need manual but not living organism. What the fun of living without life or surprises? Don’t worry, I am a good leaner and I am mostly very clever. I understand your concept and it will surely work for us both. Forget the manual and don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you and you won’t hurt me, as long as we are honest to one another. My feeling is so strong this time, even I haven’t met you yet. Let us talk normal and act normal. Everything is going to be fine. Don’t build walls. I’m tired to break walls just to prove anything. Especially my love.’
‘Writing and delivering your thoughts is like a poem. I like it a lot. No no. I love it.’
Through her text, I can feel her smiling.
I Am Yesterday. You Are Present. We Are Tomorrow 