Sometimes I just don’t know anything about life. Life is all about purpose, that is all I know. But why life is bringing you certain things without warning: that is something I wouldn’t have a damn clue.
It was just like another night of throwing yourself into a party of several unknown people. I was there because a friend of mine convince me. I wouldn’t say I’m a party type. I love going out by night but it has never suited me. I don’t drink. And I don’t believe in overnight relationship. In fact, I don’t really believe in ‘a relationship’ at all. So it was just supposed to be another boring night.
I was sitting there in Bangkok’s darkest corner alone with my friend, as usual. Furthest away from the world. Trying to enjoy a sight of these beautiful and handsome famous walking by, partying. Young and flamboyances. What you guy will be doing ten years from now? What will you guy doing twenty years from now. Now I AM twenty years something form their ‘now’. So that is perhaps why I am looking at the context from a very different perspective.
My friend introduced me to a woman.
And then suddenly I know tonight is going to be different.
To be honest, I didn’t recognise her in the first place. But I know there was something about her face that was quite familiar. But it was not about her face. It was not even about conversation we made. It was about something you couldn’t explain. Something about a wavelength. More to about the morphogenetic field.
I have been persuaded for many years by this heretic theory from the scientist, Rupurt Sheldrake, who explain that everything in the universe, with or without life, surrounded by a certain force field called morphogenetic field. This energy field supposed to embrace every single object in the universe, with or without life. It makes birds flocking without flying into one another. It makes the fishes swim in school. It create harmony out of the universe.
And for me, it might create bonding of two lonely people.
Or it might be just a desire to be completed, I’m not sure. But when you are not with anyone, your morphogenetic field might change it’s pattern into a certain frequency. When you met with another lonely soul, it just synchronised. Not even a flirting dialogue or extrusive body language. It is just about this bloody frequency. It just clicked.
When that happened, you would feel like you can simply fall into each other’s arm and cuddle. It is not even about a demand for sexuality touch. You will feel you could belong to each other and your whole purpose of life is completed. Your cycle of missing frequency is balance and you would be in a restful harmony.
She touch my arm and offer a drink. It was just a friendly touch. And so does her intention. I don’t feel the spark of excitement similar to those kind of girl you may want to sleep with. More to the harmonic side, in fact. But warmer than a friend. She walked pass by and keep on with the party. I watched her briefly and starting to check on other girls in the party.
It was indeed an interesting party. Every girls and boys in the party are only movie star, model, musician, director or simply looking good people.
They do not look like models or actress. They ARE models and actress.
“This is just simply heaven. You should have brought me to this earlier.” I complained to my friend
“You never believe me anyway when I told you that I would take you to a REAL party. Besides, you are too bloody busy.” And he was laughing.
And some of them are dressing in the Cosplay costume. Your ultimate Japanese sexual fantasy. I recognised a girl three metres from my desk. She is a very arousing performer dressing in a too short blouse and her shirt revealing more than lower half of her upper body. I checked on her. And she also checked on my hat.
But my eye always went back to her. And I thought she also realised that.
Another round of talk I believed, on and off. I think she did a perfect job taking a good care of her few friends. We took some photo together, more chat and even more clicked. It was only a very brief talk each round. But that could possibly be more than enough to get me smiling non stop.
I have to leave the party at midnight with my friend. We have a radio programme to do together. So it is the end of the party for me that night. I said goodbye to her. She said she wanted to come with us but I and my friend were not quite sure that it could possibly be a good idea. So that’s it. A perfect harmony of morphogenetic field that was torn apart by a professional obligation. That is a real drama. A real karma.
I don’t know about meeting-her-again thing will be in the coming picture. I don’t know what had happened to me with that harmony. It was supposed to be just another night anyway. Keep cool, I told myself. At least you know something has changed.
And it might become the purpose of your life.
I Am Yesterday. You Are Present. We Are Tomorrow 